Jan

25

Celibate At Sexpo (But Not By Choice)

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[This originally ran Jan. 2005 in Oui Magazine where I was doing a monthly column, "Adventures of an Average Joe." Some of the links might be outdated.]

The Christmas season is a strange time for a porn journalist. Everything is a run-up to the Adult Video News convention/awards in Vegas in early January. I call it “Sexpo” for short. Rolls off the tongue so easily, like vaginal dew drops from Goddess of Gush Cytherea’s slit. (Smart-asses will note that Sexpo is already taken as the name of Australia’s big adult-industry gathering. Hey, if it’s good enough for those sheep-fuckers, it’s good enough for me.) Read more

Dec

28

Dork Does Porn Chicks (The Mask)

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A few years back, I was in a Manhattan bar where I approached this young, nubile thing in a tight sweater, tried to make conversation. She put her arm around her friend and said, “I’m a lesbian. I don’t talk to guys.” Never mind that I’d seen her swap spit with three guys in the last hour. What she was really saying was, “I don’t talk to YOU.” At least she was more considerate than a girl on the previous night, when my simple “Hello” had been met with a drink tossed in my face.

But now, as spam flooded my inbox, I felt loved again. All these faceless pushers of penis enlargers and fat reducers, vying for my attention. One message stood out: “Wanna boink a porn star?”

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Dec

20

No sightseeing. Just sex.

Filed Under Rio de Janeiro, prostitutes, sex tourism, sex travel, sexcapades | Leave a Comment

Here’s the text of a piece I did for Britain’s Front Magazine. (The motherfuckers went bankrupt–hopefully my article wasn’t the reason–before they paid me for it.) A scan of the published version is here.

Some will rightly take me to task for not mentioning in the article that I’m a patron of Rio’s prostitutes. It was mainly to make the article more objective–in reality an impossible task–by keeping myself out of the story.

—————————————–
Front Magazine Feature: Sex Tourism
Headline: “I HAVEN’T DONE ANY SIGHTSEEING. JUST FUCKING” …
You want a holiday full of sun, sea and sex? Or just the sex? Rio de Janeiro will give you whatever you want … For a price. Read more

Dec

17

How I Became “Addicted” to Brazil’s Sex Scene

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Until my first trip there in March 2003, I essentially had three images of Rio de Janeiro: Carnival debauchery, a huge statue of Christ, and pristine beaches whose names I didn’t know. Copacabana to me meant Barry Manilow. I knew the song “Girl from Ipanema,” but I didn’t know it referred to a beach in Rio. Half the time I’d confuse Rio with Buenos Aires.
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