Dec

28

Dork Does Porn Chicks (The Mask)

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A few years back, I was in a Manhattan bar where I approached this young, nubile thing in a tight sweater, tried to make conversation. She put her arm around her friend and said, “I’m a lesbian. I don’t talk to guys.” Never mind that I’d seen her swap spit with three guys in the last hour. What she was really saying was, “I don’t talk to YOU.” At least she was more considerate than a girl on the previous night, when my simple “Hello” had been met with a drink tossed in my face.

But now, as spam flooded my inbox, I felt loved again. All these faceless pushers of penis enlargers and fat reducers, vying for my attention. One message stood out: “Wanna boink a porn star?”

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Dec

20

No sightseeing. Just sex.

Filed Under Rio de Janeiro, prostitutes, sex tourism, sex travel, sexcapades | Leave a Comment

Here’s the text of a piece I did for Britain’s Front Magazine. (The motherfuckers went bankrupt–hopefully my article wasn’t the reason–before they paid me for it.) A scan of the published version is here.

Some will rightly take me to task for not mentioning in the article that I’m a patron of Rio’s prostitutes. It was mainly to make the article more objective–in reality an impossible task–by keeping myself out of the story.

—————————————–
Front Magazine Feature: Sex Tourism
Headline: “I HAVEN’T DONE ANY SIGHTSEEING. JUST FUCKING” …
You want a holiday full of sun, sea and sex? Or just the sex? Rio de Janeiro will give you whatever you want … For a price. Read more

Dec

17

How I Became “Addicted” to Brazil’s Sex Scene

Filed Under GFE, Rio de Janeiro, girlfriend experience, prostitutes, sex tourism, sex travel, sexcapades | Leave a Comment

Until my first trip there in March 2003, I essentially had three images of Rio de Janeiro: Carnival debauchery, a huge statue of Christ, and pristine beaches whose names I didn’t know. Copacabana to me meant Barry Manilow. I knew the song “Girl from Ipanema,” but I didn’t know it referred to a beach in Rio. Half the time I’d confuse Rio with Buenos Aires.
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Dec

13

Hooker Confessions: It’s Your Money We Love, Not You

Filed Under Rio de Janeiro, sex tourism, sex travel | Leave a Comment

Ariana is a regular at Help, Rio de Janeiro’s hooker central, the hub of sex tourism there. I’ve known her since my first trip to Brazil in 2003. I started out as a client, but we’ve since become good friends. I adore her. On my latest trip, we went to eat at a 24-hour diner in Copacabana. (Funny how I never knew about that diner before. The place is so Americanized.) I was telling Ariana about my latest “drama” with a working girl, Emma. I’d also started out as Emma’s client, but we quickly evolved into something more “substantial.” Now, though, Emma wanted to take it back a notch, insisting that I pay each time for her company. Wake up, Joe! Ariana told me. “Don’t you know by now that all of Rio’s prostitutes are actresses, and this stuff about love is all an act?”

When does it become more than an act, I asked her. What if you end up meeting a working girl and staying together for six months or a year, and there’s no money involved anymore except the usual boyfriend spending on girlfriend kind of stuff? You still can’t be sure, Ariana said.

What if you end up marrying the girl and spending a life together? Is it still all an act? If that’s the case, then all relationships involve a degree of acting. Maybe there’s no such thing as genuine love. Only people convincing themselves–and each other–that they really love their partner. I think Ariana agreed that I might have a point.